I've started and stopped writing many times. Sometimes I get busy and forget about it pre-habit, other times I format the home server and lose all history. Other-other times I've been so terrified of people reading my stuff that I tear it all down. The last few years i've been writing in a notebook, on real paper, i'ts likely that I'll pull from some of those topics / ideas here. Don't judge.

My perennial (read neurological) problem is I fall afoul of not being authentically myself in some social situation. I don't mean compulsive lying, more I tend to "chameleon", as my brother so aptly puts it, with such frequency that I slowly burnout and have to withdraw entirely to recover. My hypothesis, well actually my wife's, is that I must give less f*cks. I interpret this to mean, be less afraid to just be me in all situations.

Here will be my place to experiment with putting me out there and having to confront the very fact often enough to make a dent. Also, I wish that I could find some writing from my parents when I was a kid, perhaps to better make sense of the trauma. Perhaps this will serve my boys in some way as well.